2012-05/12 –  On May 12, 2012, I saw my mom for the first time in a year or two. I instantly experienced shock. We had phone conversations, many phone conversations. I had kept in touch, and noticed a couple of things were “off” but I was in no way prepared for what I experienced when […]

2014-12/30 On December 30, 2014, after a nagging feeling that something was seriously wrong, I reached out to my mom. I needed to hear her voice, to know if she was ok. It ended up being a bad day. This is what I wrote in my journal:  I called my mom today. I have just […]

2015-01/11 – I would like to think what happened next was a surprise but some of it truly wasn’t. On the afternoon of  January 11, 2015 I received a phone call from my stepdad’s daughter-in-law. I will never forget that call, never forget the tears flowing freely from my eyes as she told me that […]

2015-01/17 –  I spent all day every day in the hospital with my mom. The doctors were pressuring me very quickly about discharging her. I had learned that she had taken the car out to find the moon one night since it was “just so pretty” and my heart skipped a beat at the thought […]

  2015-01/18 –                        That night I had a long talk with someone in my hometown who is a liaison for this sort of thing. There were many tears and much encouragement. I felt much better about things after our long talk. The next morning […]

2015-01/19 –  The final place was in West Newton. It was near an armory. It was adjacent to the Massachusetts Turnpike. It was called Golden Living. I found myself asking why these places always had such odd names. If I were to run a nursing home I would find a name reminiscent of beauty, compassion […]

2015 – 01/20 –  The next morning the sun rose in the sky like my world was not crashing down around me. Mothe Nature seemed oblivious to my pain. I gathered my wits about me the best I  could, quietly asking the sea to give me the strength I needed to make it through this […]

2015-01/21 –  I called the nursing home the night before to be sure she was ok and they assured me that she was. The next morning I called again. I had told them that she wouldn’t eat much for breakfast except toast, and even then only if orange marmalade was on it. They told me […]

2015-01/22 –  I could not spend another day away from the nursing home so I headed out that morning to go see my mom. She looked much better than she had when she first got there, which was really great to see.  When I got there she was holding a doll and I think she […]

2015-01/24 – Changes were coming. They were difficult ones. Mother Nature had rained down on me with all her fury and pushed some major decision-making. The snow kept coming. It was overwhelming. I lived at the sea where the weather was more temperate and the snowfall was minimal. This particular month was the worst my […]

2015-01/28 –  I felt like Mother Nature was releasing her fury right alongside the myriad of feelings churning inside of me. I could not get to the nursing home. Multiple major snow events in mid to late January of 2015, including a huge blizzard with 95mph winds and over three feet of snow, halted everything […]

2015-01/29 –  It seemed as I could not catch a break. I was finally able to get out of my town after the storms. I got in my car, got ready to head to the nursing home and my transmission let go. My car was undriveable. I was going to have to find another way […]

2015-01/30 –  I got on the train on the 29th, and took it and another train and a bus to get to the nursing home. It was hard to figure out the schedules and make sure I was going to get the connecting transportation, but I did it. It was costing me nearly $20 each […]

2015-02/02 –  Added to the emotional aspect of all of this, I was the one dealing with all of the paperwork. I was in the process of establishing guardianship with the court. They required extensive paperwork and procedures. I was not able to afford an attorney so I was handling it all on my own, […]

2015-02/03 When I came in to visit my mom I said hello and gave her a hug. She was always sitting at the table so I handed her a coffee as I sat down. She was lively and in conversation of sorts with the other residents at the table. She was talking to one of […]

2015 – 02/20 –  Today was the day I moved. I left behind my dream place to move into the city to be closer to my mom and work. It was heart-wrenching to go. I had built a life for myself in Rockport. It was home. I was part of this wonderful seaside village and […]

2015-03/22 I had fallen into a routine of working, visiting till dinnertime and weekends spending the whole day with her. I would bring coffee from Dunkin Donuts with me every time and she would love it. She hardly ever finished her coffee but the simple act of holding the cup in her hands, of knowing […]

2015-03/28  My mom had made some friends at the nursing home. She always sat at the same table and the same people always sat with her. At this point she had decided I was her sister. In her mind she had never had children. The resident that originally she thought was my stepdad was now […]

2015-04/24 There was a new guy in the group of people my mother was hanging out with at the nursing home. I didn’t particularly like the guy. It felt like he had a thing for my mother. He appeared to be hitting on her on a regular and very blatant basis. My mother was oblivious […]

2015-0511 By May of that year, I was entrenched in the routine. I was spending a lot of time with her, and I started thinking that it was going to be really important to me later to have some photos of the two of us together. I decided to make an effort to capture as […]

2015-05/14 When the weather is nice, the nursing home sometimes has a cookout on the patio for the residents. I decided to bring my mom down and have a change of scenery. Fresh air was very nice. My stress level dropped a lot just being outside. Being inside all the time can take a toll. […]

2015-05/15 Lilacs were a favorite of my mother’s. I remember when I was growing up. She planted two small twigs in the ground. I remember thinking there was no way these would ever be lilacs, but they grew. Within a few years they became lush lilac bushes that would perfume the air each spring. I […]

2015 – 05/19 I started doing some kitchen activities with my mom. I started bringing in supplies to make some simple goodies for the residents. I would work with my mom on putting them together and she would help serve the residents when the treats were done.  On this particular day, my mother seemed more […]

2015-05/26   They did modify her meds, and over the next few days she improved. I had found a pair of her glasses when I was going through some boxes of her things. I brought them with me. She was excited to get them and put them on right away. She flipped through a magazine, […]

2015-05/28 Every once in a while, my boyfriend at the time would come along with me on a visit. My mom still sat at the same table with the same people, and I had gotten close to all of them. I had many conversations with all of them at this point. Kris would sit there […]

2015 – 06/11 I baked a lot of cookies and would bring them in regularly to pass out to the residents. I decided to see if my mom could handle making some with me. At home, I packed up all the ingredients and I printed out my recipe. I brought in all the supplies including […]

2015-06/18 Today I decided to bring in supplies for mini cupcakes. We used a box mix because she was having a real hard time with measuring cups. This was much easier for her to handle and she did a good job. She was so careful and focused when putting the batter in the little cups. […]

2015 – 06/25 –  I decided that assembling parfaits might be fun for my mom. I brought in some pudding mix and she had a great tie with the mixer. She needed guidance at the beginning. She had forgotten how it worked. I demonstrated while she watched in rapt attention. Then I guided her hand […]