2015-01/28 –
I felt like Mother Nature was releasing her fury right alongside the myriad of feelings churning inside of me.
I could not get to the nursing home. Multiple major snow events in mid to late January of 2015, including a huge blizzard with 95mph winds and over three feet of snow, halted everything on Cape Ann. After being pounded with more and more snow, to the depths of over 100 inches, the roads were closed to all but emergency personnel, a state of emergency was declared and people hunkered down in their homes to wait out blizzard after blizzard. It was a winter for the history books. I felt trapped. I felt guilty for not being able to get to my mom. I felt depressed and angry and frustrated and so many other emotions all at once. I wasn’t able to leave. The National Guard had to be called to help with snow removal since there was no place left to put it.
The unfairness of it all was getting to me. My heart and mind were in turmoil. I was sacrificing so many pieces of the life I had worked so hard to build. I felt guilty every time those thoughts came into my head. My mother was dealing with something so much bigger. As her daughter, it was the least I could do to make sure she was taken care of and to spend as much time with her as I could. Being stranded at home so far away with no way to get to her was killing me. Massachusetts was at a stand still. All I could do was to hope I could find a way to get to her soon. I reached out on a couple of online support groups I had joined because I was in desperate need of some emotional support. I decided that no matter what, I would get out the next day and get down to see my mom.